How it feels like being a gay

Above all I am a person who wants to live his life to the fullest. I want to enjoy my life to every bit and live with no regret.

I don’t know whether people understand me or not, neither I know whether I do understand or not. I know I have two parts within me, two different personalities. In one I am a son to my parents, cousin to my uncle, and a caring brother. My profession demand me to act smart, gentle and matured and I have done complete justice on that. And at the same time, there is second side of me which I totally different from my other part. I feel so different and my first side slowly fade within myself. I am a fun loving person, a gay and I like guys. I don’t think I ever had a choice about being gay; I remember knowing I was different in that particular way somewhere around age 10. I enjoy how Mother Nature has created me. The developed countries are already starting to accept homosexuality as normal but we are viewed as a completely different species here in Nepal.

Above all I am a person who wants to live his life to the fullest. I want to enjoy my life to every bit and live with no regret. In my second side, I may act immature or even stupid and jealous but I don’t care about what other have to say on it. I live my life in my terms and don’t depend on others. But that does not mean I am a dishonest person or a betrayer. I am open to those people who accept me as I am. I am quite friendly with those who consider themselves as my friend. Lastly, I am very determined about the way I live and nothing can ever change it. I am happy with who I am and I want to live on with this attitude.

I find joy in everything I do. It’s really hard to tell in just a few words. First is I love myself then I love everything about life the good and the not so good. I myself like being around attractive men not feminine men but real men. Although I am not attracted to woman, I talk to them and love their company as well. Some people even think like gays don’t like women at all. But apart from sexual life, all the emotions and feelings for other things are same. I have woman friends but I am not sexually attracted to them. That’s the only difference between me and the rest of the community who are “straight”.

I will add more in this article in coming days.

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